I could write a story about a story – and I shall! As you know, I’ve announced the publication of my new children’s book written in collaboration with my friend and graphic designer Janette Stubelt.
Whichi the White Chipmunk is a story I planned for decades. It seemed like it was going to take decades to get it published.
And here is my tale of woe. It culminated today in 107 text messages! First, as writers are supposed to do, I queried agents. (But they didn’t query me back) Then I queried publishers who would look at manuscripts without agent representation. It was like looking for an acorn in a giant pile of oak leaves. Not having the tenacity of a hungry chipmunk, and knowing winter (old age) was approaching, I decided to publish through Amazon.
Janette prepared the formatting according to the Amazon website instructions. They were very exact. Except they were wrong. “Oh, we changed our format and we didn’t yet post it on the website” she was told after completing the entire task. She had 30 pages of full color photos to reformat by 1/8″ all around. Thirty pages, 120 margins – no problem! Right? Wrong! She was 24 hours away from her departure on a trip to Italy when she suggested she needed to pack and do a few other things. Moreover, the dog and her husband were feeling neglected. Two weeks went by during which I continued to work on over 750 promotional flyers(each needing 5 stamps, labels and stickers – 3,750 manual labor tasks) to go to Massachusetts bookstores, libraries and many friends and family. Then an illness prevented Janette from flying home as scheduled. During all this I’m counting the days left before Christmas and calculating how I was going to foster Christmas sales. I developed what is known as S T R E S S.
When she got home, addressed the formatting issues and got the book to Amazon, we encountered shipping problems. The big Thanksgiving weekend of shopping was approaching and Amazon wouldn’t expedite bulk shipments to authors. (Yes, I actually had stores signed up to sell copies.) Yes, an individual copy could be sent out in two days via Prime, but 100 copies? Impossible. That would take ten days.
The texting began at 7:07 this morning – it ended at 11:30 during which time we worked to expedite shipping and try to discover where my new Viola Productions email had vanished in cyberspace. And security codes didn’t last on my cell phone long enough for them to be shipped from Janette to me to Gmail. During this four-hour period, and after 107 text exchanges, (I counted them!) we still hadn’t resolved the secret code for Gmail and Amazon
I had yet to receive my first copy of the book while others were excitedly telling me they got their copy in one day! Did I speak to the Publishing Gods harshly? Was the chipmunk association angry I was writing about a white chipmunk and not all the rest of them? Were the Gmail lords angry because I regularly use AOL? Who had I annoyed to cause such pandemonium? Writing a book is enjoyable. Getting it to press and into my hands is another matter. I’ve decided this writing business requires not only patience but a good sense of humor.